The Risky Text

We’ve all done it. We’ve all sent the semi naked selfie to someone we fancy the pants off. We shouldn’t. We regret it. But once that alcohol hits, there’s no backing out. The next morning your head hurts, you’re hanging, you regret it immediately. It’s gotten to the point now where I congratulate myself for not destroying my life the next morning, if I haven’t touched my phone whilst pissed. I’ve an amazing body. I like the alcohol. But is it sexual harassment to send them unsolicited? What if they said they weren’t interested or just flat out ignore it? The shame! The regret! How do you look them in the eye afterwards? Is it weird to send a semi naked picture to someone without their permission? Is it rude to just assume that they want this picture? Do men get embarrassed by this whole topic? Be honest fellas, if a girl sends you a picture you never asked for, what’s your reaction? Us girls have one drink and think it’s a brilliant idea to message the guy they have their eye on. Brilliant idea. They’re gonna love us for it. Booty call. Why has nobody ever thought of this before? I’m gonna message him at 1am, something like “hey baby you ok?” despite never speaking like that to him before in my life, and he’s going to get me to his. We will have sex all night. And again in the morning. No. What happens is “Delivered” shortly followed by “Read”. “Active 20 mins ago.” “Blocked”. Then one one day 6 months later they appear in your DM’s. “Hey”. And the whole debacle starts again. What on earth? I mean how do we get over the embarrassment and just be grown ups about it? So do we send the risky text? “Why aren’t I in your bed?”. That’s my personal favourite. That, or “Will you be my boyfriend for the evening?”. I’m gettin Tescs Proseccs tonight and a bottle of Malbec. Let’s see how long Elizabeth waits to ultimately destroy her life.